Day 71.

How I now remember the dawning of this silent mystery and how I will regret it ever coming to an end. The power of that was in her hands. Mine was the destiny at her command. I had been taken prisoner and in my heart was a raging tempest. Sufferings that would find no escape until love opened the gate. Love had freed my pen but bound my spirit. She held the key.

This entrapment made me like a pond amid the Mountain peaks, which mirror the stillness of its outlines along with the colours and the clouds. But it finds no stream that would allow it to flow in rivulets to the sea. It was a wonderful emptiness. Love is not love until you give it away, then it becomes a gift you give yourself. By loving God, we transform our spiritual lives. By giving our love to another human being, we transform our physical lives. Once again water is turned to wine. The night becomes the dawn, and the river reaches the quiet of the valley. Once freed from the coolness of the mountain pond it arrives at the warmth of the gentle flowing waters below. There, like my life, it awaits the sunrise like a dream waiting to be lived.

My river had been gently flowing past the distant lights on the banks of life. Then the sun rose. On the enchantment of its shores, she became the kaleidoscope of diamonds that sparkled across its waters. This was the gentle flowing waters of my love for her. Captured in the sunrise by the fleeting pleasures of love.

Was all this to be a blank white page in the book of my existence? Must my life ever be normal again, when all my life, since I was very young, I had wanted someone who could inspire me like this? Was she, on the verge of my dreams, going to remain silent? Had I not seen the angels of heaven gazing at me through her warm brown eyes? Then it was this that moved me to want to engulf her heart in my flames. And so, I wrote with all my energy well into the night, night after night.

Unrequited love is one of the great themes of Shakespeare. It served my moment and freed my spirit from the shackles of divorce. Being in love is like discovering the secret of the stars or sailing to an un-chartered land or giving a new thought to the human spirit, for here our dreams can become reality. Dreams and hopes are the things that lead us through life towards the mountain peak of great happiness. My pen had grown wings feathered with poetry. They carried me beyond the clouds, where I saw the cosmos flooded with prismatic light rays, like the colours of the rainbow and I heard the chanting anthems of glory and majesty, for it is God who created these emotions in us. God is love and we are most like Him when we love.

Then these lyrical wings become shredded by the storms of her silence and I plummeted back to the world of reality. Must I again become diminished and distorted. Must life again become normal and mundane? Then woe is me, for I am undone, for I tried to eat of the forbidden fruit. I tried to draw from an empty well, a mirage of the desert. It was but an apparition of hope, that when approached faded. I was but a thirsty bird hovering above a pond guarded by an evil serpent.